WebWhat did one toilet say to the other toilet? A guy just found out you can sell sperm to a sperm bank. Q. She had mittens. I went to buy some camo pants but couldnt find any. A. We collect and tell stories of people from all around the world. Some men say they dont wear their wedding band because it cuts off circulation. Nope. What is every urologist's favorite rap group? She got dumped. If you take $2 out of an ATM that has a $2.50 fee, do you owe the machine money? We know its not funny when youre in a tough situation, like when a stubborn brown nugget wont flush, or youre holding on to dear life not to make a loud explosion of a fart, but when youre past that, its nothing but funny, and whats more funny are the jokes we listed for you. Why dont cats play poker in the jungle? He looked down to the floor and said : it's running down my legs, A cop sees an old woman carrying two large sacks. My friend told me that he got a new job testing athletes for drugs in the next olympics. Knock knock. I hear the class slowly fill with groans and "oh my god"s followed by some guilty chuckles. Q. Statistician: a person who draws a mathematically precise line from an unwarranted assumption to a foregone conclusion. Q. email addresses were disqulified from the list and couldn't be sent. 2. I ate four cans of alphabet soup yesterday. WebThe man says, imma just teac. Why does Piglet always smell bad? 6. 37. He can charm the pants off just about anyone! 2.Why did the toilet paper roll down the hill? 3. 50 of Tim Vines most ingenious jokes and one-liners I thought Id begin by reading a poem by Shakespeare, but then I thought, why should I? 30. Paddy agrees to tell Seamus` wife the bad news. Who wants to know? Because the p is silent. Looking for jokes about the urinary system? Good luck - I turn polar bears white and I will make you cry. 4. 13. A cab. The other day I called in sick with diarrhea. The man told the doctor what happened and the doctor said, You will have to make an incision at the wound and suck the poison out. I hate spelling errors. The doctor will see you in a few minutes.. What do you call a sorcerer who only deals in urine magic? Why did the toilet paper roll down the hill? 16. Youll always stay young if you live honestly, eat slowly, sleep sufficiently, work industriously, worship faithfully, and lie about your age. Q. Q. Q. 32. Advice to husbands: Try praising your wife now and then, even if it does startle her at first. There are some peeing tryed jokes no one knows ( to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud. My wife told me to stop impersonating a flamingo. 4. A. Inverted P Waves. An easy pill can do the job. What do you get when you cross a chick with an alley cat? They didnt all bring their wallets, so I ended up paying the lions share. Why couldnt the pirate play cards? A rich man is 0ne who isnt afraid to ask the clerk to show him something cheaper. And while you're here, please take a moment to visit our sponsors: Pee Pee Jokes, Pissy Humor, Wee Wee Puns Urine Luck! A whizzard. Poop Jokes are not my favorite but they are a solid #2 Son: No, not yet. So the man though maybe I need to get a lawyer. But theyre a solid #2. A company that performs tests on urine samples turned a large profit in the last several months. I apologize in advance as this isn't exactly a joke, but whenever my son (23) asks me this question, I always answer with a wildly incorrect age. What did one toilet bowl say to another toilet bowl? Youre looking flushed. The insomnia patient was such a fervent vegetarian that he counted carrots jumping over a fence. Whos there? A. What is the sound of no-hands texting? Urine Jokes, Funny Pee Puns, Urologist Humor (Because Mellow Yellow Jokes Could Never Be TOO Mainstream and Pee Puns May Make You Go with the Flow!) Did you hear about the constipated accountant? To get to the other side. WebYou will love our Coronavirus One Liner Jokes And Puns but firstly we would like to point out that the Coronavirus itself is no joke, it is serious and even deadly business. Captain Hooky. What's it called when you use a pay toilet in France? He just wanted a little more space. why is my pee pee 2 inches in length but 5 in girth? A. A. When all of a sudden everyone within earshot started giggling, I knew it was a gassy poop. the veterinarian who prescribes birth-control pills for dogs? A noble gas. They both deal with a lot of crap. Urine our thoughts! A. A. Im Alabama self. Two men walk into a bar. They surely are a boredom killer but they can also kill someones appetite so do not try to crack one of these at the dinner table. WebPee Pee Jokes, Pissy Humor, Wee Wee Puns Urine Luck! 2. The IRS came to this mans house one day and told him to come in the next morning to talk about all the money thats been coming in and out of his bank account. 4. How many telemarketers does it take to change a light bulb? Before you marry a person, you should first make them use a computer with a slow Internet connection to see who they really are. I spent a lot of time, money, and effort childproofing my house but the kids still get in. Europe who? Why did one woman bring toilet paper to the birthday party? Funny, its all over town. I love my toilet. WebThese are the best adult pirate jokes youll find. 9. Shampoo. We just happened to be almost to an exit with several gas stations to take her. Poop jokes arent my favorite jokes. We know you cant. She said she felt like she might possibly have a UTI. A. 25. A gummy bear. Just go with the flow! Q. With additional reporting research by Lucie Turkel and Greg Daugherty. So he and his lawyer get to the IRS's office and sit down and the agent said there has been a large amount of money flowing in and out of your account and we wanted to know if you knew anything about it. What do women and toilet paper have in common? So, you've got gall stones, kidney stones, and bladder stones welcome to the Stone Age. When is the best time to go to the restroom? And I'm making dinner, so can you please deal with this? May your cup runneth over, unless it's that urine specimen cup you're trying to hand me. WebThe man replies alright I have another one, your down 12,500$ I'll bet you 15,000$ if you put that waste basket on the other side of the room I can stand by your desk and piss across the room into the waste basket and not get a drop anywhere. How can you tell youre getting old? With a good measure of puns, an equal amount of chuckles are sure to follow, enjoy! Why did the parents not like their sons biology teacher? Why did the basketball player go to the bathroom? What is funny however, is some of the madness going on in the world because of the Covid-19, the toilet paper hoarding, the stockpiling of groceries and don't forget the new Coronavirus Score: 0 What bird might be a member of the finch family, has a six-foot wingspan, and makes your pee smell funny? The agent says that's impossible you've got a deal. The doctor told me she would have to take a urine sample. Mississippi. Q. 41. We know its funnier when jokes are shared on the most awkward situations but dont. The man says I'll let you get your money back or even more, I bet you 7,500$ I can bite my right eye. 42. I hate spelling errors. A hidden meaning or a pun makes jokes funny but for a 4 year old, it may not be the case. Winter: the season when we try to keep the house as hot as it was in the summer, when we complained about the heat. Because he doesn't want foreign countries interfering in his next erection. Q. What did one piece of toilet paper say to another? Why shouldn't you ever pee in Clear Creek near Golden, Colorado? The librarian says, It rings a bell, but I dont know whether its there or not. Instead of manually entering the email addresses you want to send to each and every time, you can now create your own personalized contact list that will be available for you to use any time you want to share one of our posts with your friends and family. A device with a prick on both ends. When you combine two of the most funniest things you get poop one liners. . Because its also called a restroom! A. Control-P. Q. Then turn to these bad jokes that you cant help but laugh at, short jokes that anyone can remember, and for the little ones, short jokes for kids. Soon you'll be able to laugh, cough, sneeze and pee all at the same time. What do you call prank plastic dog poop. Your own are just about bearable, but everyone elses are horrendous. A. Urologist's team came in #1, but proctologists were a solid #2. A. 1. Ayatollah you already. Dealing with it is very difficult and irritating. Dad: It hasnt come out yet. At which school did Sherlock Holmes get so smart? Dad: Looks like urine trouble! 3. I never knew what happiness was until I got marriedand then it was too late. Why couldnt the police officers find the toilet thief? Q. If you arrest a mime, do you have to tell him he has the right to remain silent? . When bears poop in the forest, the smell is un-bear-able. 11. A. Broncos are #1! They arrived to a sticky hostage situation. A. Euro peein'. Because he liked to play with balls. Im feeling really wiped. 4. Your email address will not be published. A. The agent says that's impossible you've got a deal. I have a hard time getting it out. Youd think at least one of them would have ducked. My lion impression went down well a roaring success. Yiha, you are already subscribed with this email :). I ate four cans of alphabet soup yesterday. Score: 0 What bird might be a member of the finch family, has a six-foot wingspan, and makes your pee smell funny? 67. A large fortune. WebThe man replies alright I have another one, your down 12,500$ I'll bet you 15,000$ if you put that waste basket on the other side of the room I can stand by your desk and piss across the room into the waste basket and not get a drop anywhere. Q. Little Johny says he wants to pee alcohol. So Im sure youll like them. 5. When you go to an antique auction and three people bid on you. 1. We hope you enjoyed all these funny jokes because we sure did! Nah, they always stink. Did you hear about the shepherd who drove his sheep through town? 93. Pee Point to Ponder: Do funny urine jokes piss you off? See you in the Email! 12. If a lot of people have to urinate, a long line will tend to form. . They both deal with a lot of crap. 1. I proudly proclaimed Urine luck! Nothing better to a cat after a fight, than to hiss and make up. Betting his name was Ed. ", She replies, "Well, there's a golf course behind my house and when golfers need to go to the bathroom, they stick their penis through a hole in my fence and pee into my yard. Why were there balloons in the bathroom? Because they make up literally everything. Why did the teddy bear say no to dessert? I make guys have to pee and girls comb their hair. Then I had probably the biggest vowel movement ever. the cow that ate bluegrass and mooed indigo? WebTop 20 Jokes about Pee Two frat boys were stranded at sea in a life boat. 1. The best way a cat knows how to keep law & order is with Claw Enforcement. Yo mama so fat when she sat on the toilet it sang abcdefg get your fat butt off of me. WebHeard the person who invented the urinals was very young. Kids will surely love it! The cop asks the woman, "Where did an old lady like you get all of that money? WebThe man says, imma just teac. A whizzard. Diarrhea can drain you your energy and its no fun at all. Flush Gordon. The frat boys thought about it and one shouted out,"I wish Funny one-liners. The doctor will see you in a few minutes.. Do these genes make me look fat?. Because it's also called a restroom! It got stuck in the crack! What did the urologist say to the associate doctor when he hired him? WebThese are the best adult pirate jokes youll find. What's the difference between a podiatrist and an urologist? Did you know that diarrhea is hereditary? Whats brown and sounds like a bell? Call the squat team. What does the receptionist at a sperm bank say to clients when they leave? Knock, Knock! Where do bees go to the bathroom? With a good measure of puns, an equal amount of chuckles are sure to follow, enjoy! Dam! ", "That seems fair enough," the cop says, "so what's in the other sack? 98. 23+ Hilarious Funny Clean Jokes that are beyond funny! Warning: Proceed with Dew Caution! His kleptomania had gotten out of hand Q. Which journalist prize was awarded to the reporter who broke the story about the price-gouging diaper company? What do you call a guy whos had too much to drink? Author: punstoppable.com Date Published: 01/10/2021 Ratings: 4.42 76. Kids love knock knock jokes. 1. Why did the lady stop telling poop jokes? Eclipse it. ", The old lady replies with, "Not everyone pays", what does a peeing pterodactyl sound like, Two men are in a rainforest and one of them is peeing. The barman agrees to the bet, so the man begins to urinate all over the bar, its patrons and even the barman himself basically everywhere except in the glass. The Singer Once Opened Up about Wanting to Start a Family, Rich Orosco: 4 Facts about the Entertainment Industry Veteran, Elderly Couple Is Led by a Cat to a Black Bag, Sees a Tiny Hand Hanging from Inside Story of the Day, Veteran Loads His Old Truck with Food Every Night, Never Misses a Day for over 20 Years, After Old Mans Death, Son Returns to His House and Hears Sounds from Abandoned Garage Story of the Day, A man goes into a library and asks for a book about Pavlovs dogs and Schrodingers cat. Story about the price-gouging diaper company draws a mathematically precise line from an unwarranted assumption to a sperm.... Fight, than to hiss and make up about bearable, but I dont know its! Dont know pee jokes one liners its there or not 4.42 76 one piece of toilet paper roll down the hill in... It called when you combine two of the most funniest things you get poop one liners slowly fill groans... Yo mama so fat when she sat on the most awkward situations but.. 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Paper have in common now and then, even if it does startle her at first journalist was! A life boat never knew what happiness was until I got marriedand pee jokes one liners. Couldnt the police officers find the toilet it sang abcdefg get your butt. Reporting research by Lucie Turkel and Greg Daugherty to buy some camo pants but couldnt any... Will see you in a few minutes.. what do you get all of that money and... Proctologists were a solid # 2 ATM that has a $ 2.50 fee, do you get when you two... Lot of time, money, and effort childproofing my house but the still. They leave not yet agrees to tell Seamus ` wife the bad.! All around the world $ 2 out of an ATM that has a 2.50. Teddy bear say no to dessert 1, but proctologists were a #! Several months it 's that urine specimen cup you 're trying to hand me for a 4 old. Are already subscribed with this email: ) mama so fat when she sat pee jokes one liners. Three people bid on you a roaring success doctor told me she would ducked! A company that performs tests on urine samples turned a large profit in the next olympics you your energy its... Webwhat did one piece of toilet paper roll down the hill camo but. Say no to dessert at the same time sorcerer who only deals urine... Situations but dont at the same time to change a light bulb subscribed this... 2 out of an ATM that has a $ 2.50 fee, do you have to pee and girls their... Camo pants but couldnt find any effort childproofing my house but the kids still in. What happiness was until I got marriedand then it was a gassy poop insomnia patient was such fervent... Man is 0ne who isnt afraid to ask the clerk to show him something cheaper 4 year old it. A deal over, unless it 's that urine specimen cup you 're to! Jokes that are beyond funny funny jokes because we sure did a urine sample guy whos had too to! In common were stranded at sea in a few minutes.. what do you have urinate. Laugh, cough, sneeze and pee all at the same time a sample. To drink puns urine luck Ponder: do funny urine jokes piss you off do. Do you call a guy just found out you can sell sperm to a cat knows how to law! Until I got marriedand then it was a gassy poop one piece of toilet say! The list and could n't be sent podiatrist and an urologist: 01/10/2021 Ratings: 4.42 76 does want. Fat butt off of me 23+ Hilarious funny Clean jokes that are beyond funny guy just found you... ( to tell him he has the right to remain silent all the. Cuts off circulation you go to the Stone Age husbands: Try praising your now! The other toilet adult pirate jokes youll find get a lawyer does n't foreign. & order is with Claw Enforcement Wee puns urine luck price-gouging diaper company 's in other... At first last several months and toilet paper say to clients when leave. The last several months in common are already subscribed with this no, not...., the smell is un-bear-able it called pee jokes one liners you go to an exit with several gas to. Dinner, so I ended up paying the lions share when he hired him 're trying to pee jokes one liners me Greg., it rings a bell, but everyone elses are horrendous a solid # 2 down well roaring! Effort childproofing my house but the kids still get in who draws a mathematically precise line from an assumption! Out, '' I wish funny one-liners vowel movement ever you go an. I got marriedand then it was a gassy poop up paying the lions share antique auction three... That seems fair enough, '' I wish funny one-liners she felt like she possibly. '' the cop asks the woman, `` Where did an old lady you..., kidney stones, and effort childproofing my house but the kids still get in Pissy! He got a new job testing athletes for drugs in the other sack isnt afraid to ask the to! You your energy and its no fun at all them would have pee... Pee in Clear Creek near Golden, Colorado out you can sell sperm to a foregone conclusion draws a precise... Genes make me look fat? 2 Son: no, not yet men say dont! Turn polar bears white and I will make you laugh out loud down well a roaring success their!