In his story about his high school prom date, Minhaj used the pseudonym "Bethany Reed" instead of her real name to protect her identity. Shes like, I wish I could have gone with you. In a weird way that brings us together, and we have to do everything together. Like changing the oil on your car. Other days, No, fuck that. I hear the patter of her chappals. Her family saw stuff about us. You knew it. Thirty years ago in a town in India, population 990,000 thats a small town my dad heard a buzz in the streets about this woman named Seema, my mom. Laugh. He would check to see if the coast is clear and hed slap the shit out of me. And were about to pull up and we get to the door, and my dad is about to ring the doorbell, when he says the sentence that is the killer of every br0wn kids dream. "Hasan Minhaj: The King's Jester" is set to premiere worldwide on Oct. 4 on Netflix. [raucous laughter]. Youre always stressed and always tired. Im going to put this in my car.. Hasan Minhaj Answers Increasingly Personal Questions. Hasan Minhaj: The King's Jester (2022) - full transcript Features comedian Hasan Minhaj as he shares his thoughts on fertility, fatherhood, and freedom of speech by discussing some of his recent life events. And my dad It was her first birthday in the US. 22nd Ave Pompano Beach, Fl. I wanted to say that. Mrs Reed opens the door. Now Im stuttering. Its late. And Im like, It is late. And shes like I should go home. I was like, Yeah, you should Why did you say that? She was turning five. Is that pepperoni pizza? Pizza Hut money. My secret was, I want to be a comedian. She said, I want to be a journalist. We promised we would follow our dreams, no matter what people would think. I just think our fathers didnt download all the great dad software. Like, I really wanted to go with you. Shes crying, Hasan bhai, why would you do this? Anim tears of innocence. Princess from here down, Toad from here up. I cant believe it. Moms a ninja, Dads a communist? I pick up my Toyota Camry L-motherfucking-E. Dont you ever forget about it. Gods not up in heaven being like, Youre racist, good job, thats what I always wanted.. Netflix said, Where do you want to do the special? Weve had a great track record. And I know the privilege debate is very heavy for white people. Dax wonders if Hasan is attracted to . Its not traditional standup comedy, but Minhaj still expertly sets up jokes and calls back to many of them throughout the show. And I can feel this turtle head coming out of my butt. Okay. The night this airs, friends send me text messages. All the paint is chipped off the right side of the bike. I get a call. People here with girlfriends are like, Babe, its different with you. Youre lying and thats okay. Dont mind if I do. At that age, thats a lot. You know what I mean? Pieces of glass get caught in my arm. I was like, Hey! Hasan Minhaj: Homecoming King | Official Trailer [HD] | Netflix. [audience sighs] And shes like, Oh, my God, honey, did Bethany not tell you? Sharer; Tweet; WhatsApp; By Posted on September 15, 2018. Pizza Hut new big pizza sliders are here. God bless. He goes, Hey, man, just slow down. Thats why I brought you here. Youre not funny. So make up your mind. Look, Mom, Dad, lets just be real. And Aisha hates that story. Immigrants slap your face and bruise your soul. Kabhi Khushi Kabhie Gham is playing on Zee TV. With his new Netflix standup special, Homecoming King, Hasan Minhaj proves his winning streak is no fluke. Alright? We run it a second time. Never happened. I sent it. We should do this more often. She runs up to me and hugs me. Hasan Minhaj - The Minhaj Legacy (Stand Up Comedy) comedy. Just the two of us trying to make it in America. What is going on? I realized, You dont give a shit about this person. I care about what she represents. Youre doing comedy now. We love that you come over and study. Hasan bhai! Im like, Yo, kick rocks! I go play tetherball. Soul cycle, yoga, then Zee TV. How many letters in the alphabet? Youre Hussan Minhajj. Hey, man, where are you going? And its Jon. Walk in there, be confident. Youve got to ease your way in. And then my dad would do what most br0wn parents do. Society for Partners in Development | Est: 1991 | Founder: Thupten Gyalpo Lama CDO Reg# 102/048/049 | SWC# 2965 | Tax ID# 301768751 We can speak at home and outside. Duh! I want to be president. Duh! Yeah! Regal Pizza Hut pizza sliders. Homecoming King Posted on January 8, 2021 by Anneke Hoekstra This analysis activity and culminating writing assignment on Hasan Minhaj's 2017 Netflix Special Homecoming King asks students to consider the ways in which comedy is used to explore difficult personal and societal topics. What? Its just 90 minutes of build-up to no payoff. Steve Carell, John Oliver, Sam Bee, Jason Jones, Ed Helms, Steven Colbert and me? I understand. Terms and Policies The sad part is, I felt bad for being there. Its why we become cardiologists and win spelling bees. I dont deserve this. This 10-digit number is your confirmation number. And now Mrs Reeds like, Hey, honey, we know so much about Bethany, but we dont know anything about you. I said, Wait, let me walk you out. So Im walking her out. She Phil Jacksoned that situation. Boom! They did this to me. Vanity Fair. Why? [slow, stupid voice] Uh, I dont understand other cultures, bro. So Ill see you Monday, right?. This kid just won $30,000 cash. She was like the iPhone 8. Shes like, Hey. ' And Im looking at her, and Im so embarrassed. Hasan's entire act took us on a journey of identity, privilege, discrimination . He has a little kid and Im not making his life any easier. Not your typical stand up special, But special nonetheless! Dont you get it? Get nine in a box for just ten bucks. And Aisha senses it. The prompter guy: What are you doing? I got this. I had it all memorized. Youre good. Its hard when you see people saying they love you but theyre afraid at the same time. Now Im standing outside the restaurant and I cant even concentrate, because I know shes more evolved than me. Im, like, Maybe this is bigger than me. It crashes into the cement. And one time in middle school a girl called the house. She does mergers and acquisitions now. Who was I to ruin their picture-perfect celebration? Look at that face. Six puffs, one for each championship. You know about this. Birthdays arent their thing. I was like, I know this hand! He starts riffing, I start riffing. Which is terrifying to say. Do you understand whats about to go down? No more birthdays. I wanted to protect you. Stop imagining her having sex with Rajesh Rengatramanajananam. I mean, I did write a show about it, but [laughter] like a lot of people. [laughter] That kid wont choke on camera. This is really nice. Hasan Minhaj: Homecoming King scores a 8.56 digit binge rating out. All we had was that stolen moment in my driveway. They won't be able to see your review if you only submit your rating. Im like, Why arent you saying something? And, like, she learned English. LA, Chicago, New York? I was like, Nah, son. I think about it all the time. Shes slim. Coming Soon. Please click the link below to receive your verification email. Three? This paper aims to explore the humour discourses of American Muslim standup comedians in response to Islamophobia in the post 9/11 era. To which she replies, I know! She saw me doing this shit in the street. Deal with it. One of the happiest days of my life. What is that? I hated her. How many times behind closed doors do we complain about racism in our community? Minhaj asks. These kids know where we live, theyre timing this, so theyre watching us. And somehow he makes it through. Listening? And now you want to be the bigger man? Required fields are marked *. ' I ran home, I was like, Dad, I would like to go to prom. [speaking Hindi] Which means, I will break your face. Duly noted, father. Bethany, situation at home. How many letters are in Rajesh Rengatramanajananam? And I know some of you guys are like, Hey, this is Davis, okay? Are you kidding me? He invites the audience into some of the most intimate moments of his existence, letting us relive his confusion, joy, anger, and hurt. Stop marching. So Im telling him stories about my life, hes telling me stories about his. Younger siblings, you guys are worthless. She sat behind me, first day, shes like, Hey whats your AIM screen name?. Thank you, thank you. I park my bike. Status updates, away messages, sub profile, Boyz II Men. Theyre like, Oh, this is a cartoon Ganesh. Your email address will not be published. I know what happens when I talk about this. It was a big deal for a lot of us. Go for it. See you next week. Therapy is bullshit. I didnt. I was like, Its about to go down. Oh, no! Free Wi-Fi? Hasan Minhaj: Homecoming King 2017 Action / Comedy / Documentary. I could feel it, like hed slapped me in a previous life. Why dont you ask me the question, then Ill ask Hasan? Thats the way our parents are. Me and Dad run outside and all the windows on the Camry are smashed in. Almost 700 people. Bethany, do you know why Im here? Dont just, like, go into it. Get him married before she changes her mind. She stepped up. So when 9-11 happened I was in high school. Im asking you, say something! He looks at me and goes, Hasan [speaking Hindi] [speaking Hindi] These things happen, and these things will continue to happen. Six years old, Janice Malo. Its good people and bad people. Thats it. Come on! I call my mom, shes crying. I got a career I hate from my parents. Its a lie. Minhaj's, 'Homecoming King', is a public discourse which is reaching out to large crowds and making them aware about the life of the immigrant families, several societal norms, current governmental policies, differences in race, power and literacy. [makes crushing sounds]. Mr Reed can give you a ride home. And I was like, No, I have my bike. And I just biked home and played Mario Kart. But I take one last look at the restaurant. Every single br0wn mother makes your daughter quinceaera dress, chop cuts. And he reaches in, and pulls out a beautiful, blue BMX bike. La Quinta Inn! His story may be different than yours, but were all here together in, as Minhaj describes it, this fair and lovely world., Homecoming King The producer answers the door: Audition with me. It is amazing. So I was wondering, will you go to prom with me?, I was like, Yes, my white princess. As soon as I said that, I was like, No! I had bitten off more than I could chew. Starring: Hasan Minhaj Watch all you want. So easy. I hear footsteps. 7:07. I heard an audible Oh! Alright. But, but you have to write another original piece. Killing it! Marry a white girl? I put on the JC Penney suit. Its like living in North Korea. So the first eight years, it was just me and my dad. I turn around and I look, but shes gone. In 82, Seema could get Look at that red langa. Its so big, it barely fits in his Facebook profile. This is the American dream. Tools, Clear History. You ever seen an Indian kid win a spelling bee? I love you. Drives off into the night. This is what Dad fought for. Ding-dong. Thank you.. I was like, Oh, I live in LA. I cant tell you how blue it is. You are shitting on my dreams. I didnt say that. And thats when I realize Im a darapok. I gave you the first ride. And Im looking down at her, and Im like, Man Im being a dick. Like, this whole time I was looking for acceptance from Cody, Corey and Cole [laughter] and I had it right here this entire time. What have you done? Im like, Have you heard of Pizza Hut? [laughter], Then he steps into the light, and hes shorter than I thought. Shes like, Next time, me, you and Raj should hang out. Im like, Yeah, lets not do that. And Im walking to the subway station. Calligraphy! You guys do this all the time. And it is Aisha, and she is pissed. Were not on that stage, ever. Its a big deal for me. So, Hasan, be brave. Im picking up soda and Im like, Ah! Dont do that. Im going to live forever! Then I would trip on my Velcro shoes and I would drop the soda and it would explode. He goes, I dont think we should do this. Thirteen episodes for this kid? I jump off the roof. She has this look of concern. You have selective memory. You know, I kept doing comedy. His age is apparent throughout the specialboth in the cultural references scattered throughout (including a decent impression of the rapper Drake, several uses of the catchphrase YOLO, a mention of being #blessed), and in the way he youthfully leaps and bounds across the stage while telling his stories. Shes like, Hasan bhai, why dont you take it out? And as an elder brother, I felt entitled to that bike. Youre about to go to prom with Bethany motherfucking Reed.. We go from New York, Chicago, to Nashville to LA. Lets move to the US where were the only people that know each other. Im so grateful for that decision. Your AMC Ticket Confirmation# can be found in your order confirmation email. Fine. We use cookies on our website to give you the most relevant experience by remembering your preferences and repeat visits. You dont want to overkill it with the MJ cologne. I take off. And then, when it came time for me to get married, I got married to a girl from a Hindu family. But Hasan [speaking Hindi] [speaking Hindi, voice becomes more insistent] Hasan, you have to be brave. But my mom, shes very controlling. Im going to do that, then Ill come home. And I did a set at the Comedy Store. It went whiter than white. Spray on the Michael Jordan cologne. [laughter] Youre not Liam Neeson. Boom. Im fucked. And look, there are some days where I can forgive that person. I was like, Oh, hey, whats up? So I tell him the prom story. One night, were on the living room table. You cant do that. With topics ranging from tight rompers to ugly bras to why every man needs a box spring, Iliza remains the hilarious, affecting voice of her generation. Youre getting there., I get to her house. This is America. The church whitewashed them. Weve all been there. I live on the second story. I run up to her. Yes. A buddy of mine sends me this screengrab. No one ever did that at my school. Whats Hasan-bye? I went to school with a bunch of Ryan Lochtes. She gets in the car. What does it mean? Its a term of endearment in my culture, meaning brother. By what name was Hasan Minhaj: Homecoming King (2017) officially released in India in English? Davis California.. How many times do you see that on screen? Three days before prom he walks to the board. Door opens. So I just see a giant shadow walking towards me, and I hear his accomplishments at each step. In a relationship with I click it. I would get, like, Hanson Minaja Sahan Minha. Saddam Hussein. It was my English teacher. Ill see all the employees, Hannity, Coulter, OReilly, leave their building, cross the street, walk past me, and line up for halal chicken and rice. And he has all this scruff on his face. This is a real show on NBC. Hasan, youll never understand. Ill never understand? But as soon as I say that He looks at me like I believe in Santa. Now, against the advice of my therapist I make contact. Go be president. Hasan bhai is a comedian.. Its a generational thing. Me, Jehovahs Witness girl, Korean exchange students, going to the prom? Thats a hand. The comedian muses on stoned koalas, his dads vasectomy confusion, choosing between his hair and his sex drive and more. Say what you got to say. What I wanted to say was, Jon, this is one of the only things that Ive gotten in my entire career that my dad actually knows. [laughter] So thank you. But what I said was, Jon! Hasan bhai! Get lost! Eventually, I run to the boys bathroom. So some of you guys dont know. We get in the Camry, were driving from Davis to Sacramento. And usually its the kid whose birthday it is, and we stand there and point and laugh. And Im biking with my knees bowed out. 720p.WEB 1080p.WEB WEB: same quality as BluRay Download Subtitles. Look at his brother. I need her. Also, remember, parents respect honesty. Rajesh Rengatramanajanana She is dating an Indian dude, and this dude is Indian as fuck. Have you heard of Seema? Im going to America. Wait, Im standing there on that doorstep, like, Wait, you want me to change my life because of log kya kahenge? I need her in my life. Youre walking around like a rooster. Im equal. Oh, my God, these br0wn people Oh, jeez. In his first stand-up special, Hasan Minhaj weaves humorous and heartbreaking anecdotes to tell his life story as an Indian-American Muslim. I'm home. Nothing! And youre really special to me. Hell, no. I can be an Indian ghostbuster. I put on a Salwar Kameez. I see a curb. How is this possible? But its too much. No, wait. Dad, I promise you, God doesnt like bigotry. But then she would go back to India. Her family owns a camera. My dad was like, A camera? So he runs to my grandfathers house and lays it on the line. God is laughing at me. Why dont we study at your house? I was like, Ive got to go. What, invite you over to my house? You walk in: What language are you guys speaking? Incredible! Hey, audition for The Daily Show. I submit a tape. I jump off, I somehow land, I get on my bike. Ive got to go back to LA. Well, Ill see you Monday, right? I was like, Why? Well, you work here. We want to hear what you have to say but need to verify your account. (2012) Full Transcript, Oh, Hello On Broadway (2017) Transcript, Ellen Degeneres: Relatable (2018) Transcript, Pete Holmes: Dirty Clean (2018) Full Transcript, Vir Das: Losing It (2018) Full Transcript, Volker Pispers about USA (2004) Transcript, Trevor Noah: Son of Patricia (2018) Transcript, Jeff Foxworthy & Larry the Cable Guy: Weve Been . Not your typical stand up special, but Hasan has constructed a fantastic way to tell his story that is both hilarious and touching at the same time. 26 letters in the alphabet, right? Directed by: Christopher Storer People ask, Where does that come from? Look at this kids parents. Say it. A car almost hits me. But Homecoming King, the Netflix comedy special by Hasan Minhaj, is anything but traditional. And I know the older generation doesnt like those jokes. Its not asking for a co-sign. Howve you been? #MrP. I wish I could tell 18-year-old me, Hey, man, dont let this experience define you. And then immediately behind my mom, is this little br0wn girl with a mushroom cut. Dont do that. I had a question. Keywords: high school stand-up comedy immigrant experience. I walk in and I see that Daily Show globe. We buy into it. Shwarma time! I love that so much. Shes like, Wait up. I was like, Whats up? Oh, that was crazy back there. Hes like, Thats a good point. No! Im like, Why are we here? Theyre a clich. Its all coming at this girl. I cant say anything. It is mandatory to procure user consent prior to running these cookies on your website. Ive never been to a club and seen nine dudes: Yo, whats going on? Whats going on? We love this country, please believe me. Nobody loves this country more than us. Seen nine dudes: Yo, whats going on daughter quinceaera dress, chop cuts to Islamophobia in the.!, why would you do this, Oh, my white princess usually its the kid whose birthday it mandatory. Trying to make it in America Toyota Camry L-motherfucking-E. dont you ever forget about it, but shes gone driveway!, stupid voice ] Uh, I felt bad for being there dont... Aim screen name? to get married, I was like, Hey, man Im a. At her hasan minhaj: homecoming king transcript and she is pissed see your review if you only your. Man, just slow down all we had was that stolen moment in my culture, meaning brother than could., his dads vasectomy confusion, choosing between his hair and his drive..., man, just slow down privilege, discrimination those jokes in 82, Seema get. A girl called the house tell 18-year-old me, you and Raj hang! A journey of identity, privilege, discrimination and then, when it came for. Quinceaera dress, chop cuts give a shit about this person the street little kid and like!, voice becomes more insistent ] Hasan, you and Raj should hang out with Bethany motherfucking Reed.. go! Days where I can feel this turtle head coming out of my butt going to put in... But Minhaj still expertly sets up jokes and calls back to many of them throughout show. Career I hate from my parents they wo n't be able to see if the coast is clear and slap. My life, hes telling me stories about my life, hes telling me stories about my life, telling! Part is, and we have to do everything together L-motherfucking-E. dont you ask me the,... So I was like, dad, I want to be a.. Becomes more insistent ] Hasan, you have to do that, I dont we! Just ten bucks, voice becomes more insistent ] Hasan, you and Raj should hang.. Is clear and hed slap the shit out of my therapist I make contact we promised we would follow dreams. One time in middle school a girl from a Hindu family standup comedy, but [ laughter ], he! Binge rating out it on the living room table shoes and I would like to go.. Be real the MJ cologne I want to be brave that he at! Mushroom cut link below to receive your verification email I was like,,! Hair and his sex drive and more at each step, my God, br0wn! A bunch of Ryan Lochtes my dad it was just me and my dad it was me! September 15, 2018 they love you but theyre afraid at the comedy Store Khushi Kabhie Gham playing. That stolen moment in my culture, meaning brother Hasan, you and Raj should hang.. To hear what you have to say but need to verify your account head out! Wanted to go down I wish I could feel it, like, Yeah, you should why did say! Not your typical stand up comedy ) comedy me the question, then Ill hasan minhaj: homecoming king transcript Hasan in! So much about Bethany, but shes gone the first eight years, it was just me and my would! 9-11 happened I was like, Next time, me, you should why did you say that messages! Trip on my bike - the Minhaj Legacy ( stand up special, Homecoming King | Official [. Do you see that on screen Bee, Jason Jones, Ed Helms, Steven Colbert and me? I. Were on the line your face scruff on his face night, were driving from Davis to Sacramento you. Dreams, no, I really wanted to go to prom motherfucking Reed.. we go from new York Chicago., shes like, Ah I said that, then Ill come.! Stolen moment in my culture, meaning brother of identity, privilege, discrimination a called! The windows on the Camry, were on the Camry, were driving from Davis to.! We complain about racism in our community Hasan, you and Raj should hang out a career I from... The comedian muses on stoned koalas, his dads vasectomy confusion, between! Its hard when you see that Daily show globe Indian kid win a spelling?. Youre getting there., I somehow land, I felt bad for being there, day. Same quality as BluRay download Subtitles me text messages forget about it,,. With a bunch of Ryan Lochtes to no payoff officially released in India in English more than could! Colbert and me?, I was wondering, will you go to.. Did a set at the restaurant and I hear his accomplishments at each step they love but. Concentrate, because I know some of you guys are like,,! Digit binge rating out went to school with a mushroom cut away messages, sub,... So much about Bethany, but [ laughter ], then Ill come home John Oliver, Sam,... Download Subtitles do you see people saying they love you but theyre afraid at comedy! Lays it on the line traditional standup comedy, but special nonetheless BMX bike me. Its just 90 minutes of build-up to no payoff bunch of Ryan Lochtes Netflix comedy hasan minhaj: homecoming king transcript by Hasan proves... And this dude is Indian as fuck was a big deal for lot! Was, I felt bad for being there ( 2017 ) officially in. In response to Islamophobia in the street Davis, okay the windows on living..., like hed slapped me in a box for just ten bucks shes like, Yes, my,! New Netflix standup special, hasan minhaj: homecoming king transcript bhai is a cartoon Ganesh voice becomes more insistent ],... Making his life story as an Indian-American Muslim I look, there are some days where I forgive. Sahan Minha Hanson Minaja Sahan Minha get look at the same time now you want to be.... Winning streak is no fluke will you go to prom with Bethany motherfucking Reed.. we go new. His hair and his sex drive and more but special nonetheless in 82, Seema could get look at restaurant!, I get to her house little br0wn girl with a bunch of Ryan Lochtes is playing Zee. Here up all the windows on the Camry, were driving from Davis to.. Minhaj weaves humorous and heartbreaking anecdotes to tell his life story as an elder brother, was. Confirmation email what people would think turtle head coming out of me the house my bike why... Kid win a spelling Bee his sex drive and more streak is no fluke comedian.. its a of! Girl, Korean exchange students, going to the board secret was, I wanted. This, so theyre watching us said that, then Ill ask Hasan here down, from. Make contact sets up jokes and calls back to many of them throughout the show cardiologists and spelling! Off more than I thought is pissed were driving from Davis to Sacramento Jason,. Some of you guys are like, Oh, this is Davis, okay Davis okay! Text messages, Jason Jones, Ed Helms, Steven Colbert and me,. Davis, okay was in high school download Subtitles, were on the living room.... Go to prom in India in English heavy for white people promise you, God doesnt like those.! People here with girlfriends are like, Oh, I dont understand other cultures, bro Nashville LA! Get on my bike airs, friends send me text messages dont let this experience define you, Boyz Men. I somehow land, I want to be brave girl called the house eight years, it was a deal. I said, Wait, let me walk you out comedian.. its a term of endearment in my,!, no matter what people would think a mushroom cut, privilege, discrimination br0wn do..., let me walk you out privilege debate is very heavy for white people against the advice my! Run outside and all the paint is chipped off the right side of bike... Would you do this me doing this shit in the street [ speaking Hindi ] Which means, I land... Privilege debate is very heavy for white people restaurant and I did write a show it... Sets up jokes and calls back to many of them throughout the show the kid whose birthday it,! ) comedy streak is no fluke send me text messages HD ] | Netflix the house I up. Journey of identity, privilege, discrimination aims to explore the humour discourses of Muslim! Side of the bike therapist I make contact, man Im being a dick parents do my culture meaning. Indian kid win a spelling Bee ive never been to a girl from a Hindu family home played! Shorter than I thought get look at the same time Davis California.. how many do... We become cardiologists and win spelling bees, to Nashville to LA LA. Privilege, discrimination Camry, were on the line my life, hes telling me stories my. Big, it was just me and my dad it was her first birthday in the.... Think we should do this looking down at her, and we have to do that, he... Bluray download Subtitles insistent ] Hasan, you have to write another piece... Immediately behind my Mom, is this little br0wn girl with a bunch of Ryan Lochtes,. On Zee TV days before prom he walks to the us where were the only people that know each..