By learning the importance of expressing themselves and being more direct with the people they love and trust, they can build stronger, more meaningful relationships. Enneagram Type 8 - The Protector. However, when one of these feels left behind (usually its the. Type 9s are tolerant of others and like to maintain harmony. Once you take an Enneagram test and you read your Enneagram description, a whole new world may open up to you. Twos tend to bring a positive attitude and altruistic actions to a work environment. Eights become more hard-hearted and confrontational, while Twos become more possessive and self-sacrificial. There's right where attraction and problems lie. You should reach for a glass of tried-and-true Chardonnay. Level 4 (average) A Type 8 is self-sufficient but an enthusiastic risk taker. How to be in a relationship as a Type 8 and Type 9 Enneagram? The two make a connection when they travel along their shared arrow of integration. We build intimacy with someone by talking about emotions or sharing our vulnerabilities. University of Chichester, Advanced Applied Psychology. Thus, the Level of health of each person is especially important for . Enneagram 8 wing 7 characteristics. Analytical and energized, their initially explosive anger doesn't often last and the fun can be reinstated even when there is an issue if both parties resolve and compromise. Enneagram type 2's or "the helper" are driven by feelings of love and aim to live as caregivers. Type Eights press in for connection with an emotional force that overwhelms Type Fives. On the other hand, if Type Twos can accept the challenge and grow along with their Type Eight partners, their relationships become stronger than ever. Myers-Briggs and MBTI are registered trademarks of the MBTI Trust, Inc., which has no affiliation with this site. While Type Eights value emotional honesty and forthright communication, Type Fours believe in treating the full range of emotion with deep respect. On the scale of fight to flight, Type Eights are fighters. He specializes in using evidence-based approaches in his work with individuals and groups. Type Eights may become irritated by how difficult it can be to either inspire or spark a fight with a stubborn Type Nine partner. Type Sevens feel that they should be allowed to change their mind. You can find more information about the five love languages here. Highly disciplined, principled and industrious Type Ones easily attract Type Eights, who are in turn attracted to the power and freedom that Type Eights allow themselves. They love attending to other people and feeling helpful. Type two, as a helper, is an excellent cheerleader for type eight's pursuits. Interesting. There is a tribe mentality of us versus the world often in their mission to protect the innocent from evil, to stand up as loyal friends for those who are hurt, to lead work industries with troubleshooting, order, and innovation, and most of all, to build trust together so they can back each other up from every possible angle. The Eight truly cares about the Three being treated properly and sharing their gifts with the world. Type 2s can find it scary and feel alienated because of it. Type Fours often fall into long periods of depression, which looks like weakness to Type Eights. However, Twos also struggle with the fear of abandonment and feeling . Click here to take your Enneagram Glow Up communication to the next level with the complete Type 8 & Type 7 Glow Pairing Guide! 11. These qualities make this couple powerful allies who complement each other's strengths, particularly the good effects they can have on others. 1 thing that wives say makes them feel safe in their marriage is trust. Their opinions and positions are galvanized in conflict. Make no mistake, despite the energy and strength of this powerhouse couple, they love kicking back and enjoying themselves together after a long hard day. If only love could be explained entirely through science! The permission that Type Fours give them to explore their rage fully until the sorrow emerges experience something like a great weightlifting from their chest. Strength of force meets impenetrable fortitude. This is not necessarily as bad as it may sound to other types who only engage in heated arguments when they are frustrated or want to prove a point. They enjoy indulging and being spoiled by each other after a hard day. They are energetic and intense, and they can be intimidating at times to other people. They don't want to feel controlled, and so they really crave a connection which gives both people the freedom to be themselves. Steve has worked with diverse populations and in variety of a settings, from community clinics to SF General Hospital. They do not hesitate to voice out their opinions or take a stand for what they firmly believe in. Eights dont feel feelings as feelings. Can be temperamental or self-absorbed at times. The female enneagram 8 has similar traits as the male enneagram 8. Type Eights and Type Sixes have a unique appreciation for loyalty and love that many other pairings do not share. Keep in mind that one can have a relationship with any type if the two people are healthy. Here are, It's Black History Month, and were highlighting trailblazing Black women who use their innate gifts to remind us w. This is because Type Eights consistently rated other Type Eights as the most desirable romantic partners. How compatible are Type 8s in a relationship with Type 1s? They have fun doing everyday life together as they pass metaphorical love notes to each other in the form of acts of faithful service, even on the harder days. Both Threes and Eights are action-oriented, pragmatic and willing to call the shots in order to achieve their goals. Both can be sentimental and deeply feeling, with a soft side that is often more hidden than apparent. Type . Type 8 Relationship Struggles. They can work too much, eat too much, exercise too much. Type Eights may become irritated by how difficult it can be to either inspire or spark a fight with a stubborn Type Nine partner. They share their thoughts and care about each other and respect each other's opinions. Remember this data is aggregate data collected by people's self-report of relationship success coupled with our research into personality type theory. Type Three is very driven and goal-oriented. When they hit despair, they need to rely on getting into their bodies, showing love to others and paying close attention to their intuitive knowing of the others' needs. They will not only fight fiercely for what they believe in within the relationship with their varying ideals, but they will also fight to keep each other strong and healthy. Neptune is the planet that rules intuition, sensitivity, and creativity, and the planet rules . Read on to learn more about Enneagram Two relationship compatibility with each of the nine types. Eights offer practical thinking and leadership skills. 2 can identify 8's needs and seduce him with his affection and interpersonal skills in order to get closer. They easily play roles that the other needs and wants: the Eight is practical and concerned with results, whereas Twos are more people-oriented and more openly altruistic. The biggest challenge for a Type 1 and Type 8 relationship is that neither wants to compromise. Forging a new relationship with a Type Eight is an exhausting endeavour for a Type Five, but it can be well-worth the effort. For more information on the Myers Briggs Type Indicator assessment, please go here. She believes knowing your personality is the key to navigating life's hurdles. Nine-like Type Eights become more circumspect and patient with others as well as with themselves. Type Eights and Type Nines love creative and innovative experiences. Click here to take your Enneagram Glow Up communication to the next level with the complete Type 8 & Type 2 Glow Pairing Guide! Of all the Enneagram types, Ones (along with Fours) have more relationships than average; they're also the least li, Within the 16 type system, there are eight Sensing personality types. The Five Love Languages is a registered trademark of The Moody Bible Institute of Chicago, which has no affiliation with this site. 7 Type 4: The Individualist - Neptune And Pisces. Click here to take your Enneagram Glow Up communication to the next level with the complete Type 8 & Type 8 Glow Pairing Guide! Whether you know a type 2 or maybe one yourself . Rather than feel rejected or lose a key relationship, however, Twos can get caught in a codependent relationship with the Eight. I rebuilt my self esteem through my valley-moments to arrive at where I am today. The basic guidelines are: Two highly self-aware people have the best chance of success. This pairing is proud to show true love together in the world and is truly a vibrant display of it. Type Eights expect loyalty, and they find Type Seven's fickleness and noncommittal attitude unsettling. Eights tend to be more direct and autonomous, driven by the need to be in control of their own lives. Spammers will be fried and served on toast. When things are going well, there is a deep undercurrent of love and safety running through their bond. A Type Eight with a Seven wing may try to ridicule their partner out of a depressive episode, which won't work. Christa Hardin (MA) has almost two decades of experience counseling and coaching couples. Privacy Policy|Terms of UseCopyright 2021, The Enneagram Institute. For each Enneagram type combination, learn what a relationship looks like when it is in balance and when it starts to spiral downward. This question is for testing whether or not you are a human visitor and to prevent automated spam submissions. Enneagram 8's in Relationships . Twos can help Eights back down from unnecessary arguments, while Eights can help Twos express themselves more directly. Is creative, forward-thinking, and highly expressive. People with an Enneagram type Eight personality tend to be self-confident, powerful, and assertive in their behavior. In order to get love, they try to be very loving themselves. Type Eights appreciate other Type Eights who are familiar with these games and like to play them too. Type Eights are expert at uncovering hidden resentments; Type Fours are masters at evoking inner melancholia. Direct communication is important to both, although type Eights are more convinced by what one does rather than what one says whereas Type Sixes gain reassurance when partners take the time for deep heart-to-heart conversations. When Challengers and Peacemakers initially meet, Type Eights commonly take the impression that they are gaining a malleable supporter or protg who only needs a little inspiration and guidance. Rather than feel rejected or lose a key relationship, however, Twos can get caught in a codependent relationship with the Eight. Thus, people often feel that female 8s are too stubborn, bossy, or independent. For further understanding about this type combination, read more about the Stress Arrowand how types Twoand Eightbehave when they are moving along it. Healthy Two couples bring a high level of warmth, affection, and sensitivity to each other. Click here to take your Enneagram Glow Up communication to the next level with the complete Type 8 & Type 9 Glow Pairing Guide! Type Eights may be put off by an attitude of moral superiority that they perceive in their Type One partners. Female 8s preferred male 9s, whereas Male 8s preferred 2s and 6s. Type 9, or The Peacemaker, is described as agreeable, complacent, agreeable, adjusting, and easygoing. From this, we are able to determine the compatibility of different enneatypes by gauging how mutually attractive they are to one another. Click here to take your Enneagram Glow Up communication to the next level with the complete Type 2 & Type 5 Glow Pairing Guide! For example, if Type Ones and Type Twos rate each other as highly attractive, that indicates a high degree of compatibility. Has a strong sense of identity. Similarly, if Type Ones and Twos rate each other as unattractive, that indicates a low degree of compatibility. Together this couple has the potential to create a tidy oasis that permits rest and replenishment in a beautiful and tastefully designed setting. If these couples can get past characterizing each other as wimps and bullies, Type Sixes learn to stand up for their own needs without capitulating while Eights learn to empathise with and respect a world view different from their own. They do well to have physical outlets when anger and frustration build up and clear communication is essential when they hit a passionate impasse. Investigator. The 8 can return the favor and help out the 2. Type Eights with Type Fives create a balance of passion and withdrawal. Likewise, the sadness of Type Four often covers some repressed anger that a Type Eight can help them access and address. As in every double-type relationship, a couple of Enneagram Twos surely offer each other many similar qualities. However, if they dont both focus on serving each other, one or both may feel jaded and left behind in the mad rush to be competitively the best, as well as to deny the stress under the surface. Type Eights fear that compromising with a partner will make them vulnerable to manipulation. Click here to take your Enneagram Glow Up communication to the next level with the complete Type 2 & Type 8 Glow Pairing Guide! Enneagram in Relationships: A New Way to Nurture Healthier Relationships. Whether theyre being playful and fun or analytical and deep, they always strive to protect their unique intimacy and passion. According to various studies, the No. Since this is not always the case, knowing the type, the level of health, and the instincts of . All combinations may struggle if both people have a lack of self-awareness. How do you know if you're a Sensor? While there's no such thing as a perfectly compatible type pairing based on your Enneagram type, the Enneagram can help you in your relationships. Sevens don't ever want to feel trapped, but they do need to feel grounded; thus, a good relationship can offer a Seven the ability to feel present without being stifled. Key to working out these problems is the understanding that Type Ones are often more critical of themselves than anyone else, and they tend to blame themselves for problems beyond their responsibilities. Truity offers a free personality test based on Myers and Briggs' types, but does not offer the official MBTI assessment. Everything goes smoothly in Type 2 and Type 8 relationships until a Type Eight begins to grow into their own capacity, following their arrow of integration to Point Two to become generous and attentive partners. Type Eights, naturally independent, can learn to grow in solitude addressing their own faults rather than casting blame on others. Peacemakers are not easily roused to action. When less aware, Sevens may run from anything that gets too e . Twos are a feeling-based type with a focus on relationship. Competitive Type Twos get upset when someone else plays their game. Both Type Eights and Type Fours are intensely interested in personal authenticity. Persistence and dedication to the tasks at hand. Helper (2)s and Leader (8)s value the emotional world very differently and have very different communication styles. However, why do I find this article under the type 5 in your Enneagram Types list? If stress continues or increases then they will move towards type 4's unhealthy traits such as being moody, irritable, envious, withdrawing. If Type Eights raging storms of electrical energy, Type Nines are impassive and immovable mountains. How compatible are Type 6 and Type 8 relationships? Threes are known as "the achievers" of the Enneagram. Healthy couples made up of Enneagram type 2s usually have a high level of sensitivity, warmth and affection to each other. For more information on the Myers Briggs Type Indicator assessment, please go here. Thank you! This is the kind of love that can learn to keep pursuing and withdrawing, and thus to perch on the careful balance and ability to be alone as well as connected in the world. Relationships can be a struggle for Enneagram 8s. Twos and Eights need to seek to understand what brings stress to the other type and should try to avoid causing it when possible. At-Home Workout Routines by Enneagram Type, 5 Reasons to Learn More About your Enneagram Type, The Difference Between an Assertive versus Turbulent Personality Type, 20 Signs You Have a Sensing Personality Type. This could lead to Type Eights dominating the relationship, and Type Ones could become resentful if feelings of anger keep surfacing due to the Type 1 and Type 8 relationship. Therein lies both a main source of the attraction as well as one of the main pitfalls of this pair. Christa uses the Enneagram and other great marriage tools to give couples deeper insight into how they connect with one another and glow brightly together in the world. These two types are more alike than they might appear to be at first. Enneagram 8s have two major struggles when it comes to relationships. Thus, in a relationship, Twos and Eights have very different ideas about where other people fit into the picture, including their own family. As a friend or partner of an Enneagram Eight, you can provide protection in the following ways: To be steadfast is to be unwavering. The heartfelt vivaciousness and care of the Two, paired with the infectious charm and intelligence of the Seven make this couple a dynamic duo when it comes to serving others, whether it be in the helping or entrepreneurial sense. Both Type 8s and Type 3s believe that it's up to them to do it all, so it can be a nice surprise to find a partner who takes responsibilities just as seriously as they do. Initial attraction is grounded in mutual respect. Below is a description of the potential benefits and challenges of each possible pairing between Type Eight and the other types. Lastly, our findings suggest that Type Sixes, Fives, and Fours show moderate compatibility with Type Eights. They also undeniably realize that breaks are needed, that withdrawing time can be healthy, and that love means that whatever it is, you work it out, the sooner the better. All rights reserved. This chart shows two major findings. Both can play the roles of provider, protector, caretaker, and nurturer while avoiding or even denying their own needs. And, they combine their gifts to serve their community with passion, peace and action. That said, some romantic pairings are statistically more common and/or successful than others. With this balance, a recognition of their different gifts must be emphasized within the relationship. Steven Melendy, PsyD., is a Clinical Psychologist who received his doctorate from The Wright Institute in Berkeley, California. With tightening defenses, these differences can trigger the downward spiral. Both types love to lead others to healing and goodness and offer others tips for their way of right living. The Enneagram Two, the Giver, is a warm and affectionate partner. For enneagram 8, wings are 8w7 and 8w9, because both enneagram 7 and enneagram 9 fall on either side of the challengers. This pairing finds their glow up by finding a safe harbor together of collective dreams, passions and ethics. He believes strongly in the importance of self-care, good friendships, and humor whenever possible. Click here to take your Enneagram Glow Up communication to the next level with the complete Type 2 & Type 4 Glow Pairing Guide! It can be quite liberating and illuminating for a Type Eight to be able to explore these other aspects of their personality. Steve has worked with diverse populations and in variety of a settings, from community clinics to SF General Hospital. In this study, participants completed our enneagram type questionnaire, and were asked to describe their ideal partner using the key personality dimensions which determines a person's enneatype. Thank you! Persistence and continuous improvement in your relationships; Trust without questions or hidden agendas; Enneagram Type 2 in Love. Enneagram 2 Compatibility Characteristics Of The Helper Within Relationships. Their standards can simply be too high for the comfort of most people. How do you know if you're a Sensor? Except where otherwise noted, content on this website is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution 4.0 International license. When theyre healthy, theres little question of their alliance to one another, but they also need help working out a power differential. Let us compare this to the results for all Enneagram types using our Enneagram compatibility matrix: Figure 2: Percent compatibility analysis for Enneagram types. Discover how to improve your relationships and the dos and don'ts to dating a type two. Also, they share much love and passion between each other; the 8w7 may be more expressive about this as compared to the 8w9 enneagram. Of all the Enneagram types, Ones (along with Fours) have more relationships than average; they're also the least li, Within the 16 type system, there are eight Sensing personality types. This often sets the scene for a brains-and-bronze duo. However, Twos tend to be more empathetic and attentive, motivated by the desire for acceptance from other people. By asserting control over their environment, they do . Eventually Type Fives learn to show up and stand their ground. Any bombastic attempts to draw Type Fives out are bound to fail, as Type Fives dislike having their emotions manipulated as much as Type Eights do. Type Sevens often admire the defiance and daring of Type Eights, up to a certain point. As Type Eights grow into a genuine desire to serve their partners, there is the danger that Type Twos may react by resorting to the least healthy Type Eight behaviors. By understanding the patterns of fear and . If it isnt, resentment and disrespect can ensue, thus making communication help essential. Click here to take your Enneagram Glow Up communication to the next level with the complete Type 2 & Type 1 Glow Pairing Guide! The feeling that anyone would get after they found out that they have been lied to is betrayal. This kind of maturity in the relationship can make this pair have one of the closest bonds of all the types, but their anger can also rise up and cause conflict. Type Eights know very well that there can be no growth without some effort and maybe a little conflict. Copyright 2021, Truity. This is because Type Eights and Type Twos / Sevens / nines mutually rate each other as undesirable, suggesting a low degree of compatibility. Enneagram Eights are open to, and appreciate, direct feedback. ago. Types Six and Eight share a belief that the world is full of danger, and both see themselves as protectors and defenders for the disadvantaged. This question is for testing whether or not you are a human visitor and to prevent automated spam submissions. He believes strongly in the importance of self-care, good friendships, and humor whenever possible. If you haven't taken the Enneagram personality test, that's your first task. They are more diplomatic and flexible than Eights, both in the love relationship and regarding others. Twos are true romantics and they often put the wants and needs of their partner above their own. Click here to take your Enneagram Glow Up communication to the next level with the complete Type 8 & Type 6 Glow Pairing Guide! They cannot be slowed down by the mere bounds of time and aging, unlike other couples. Ability to naturally recognize the needs of others. The truth is that any type can be compatible with an Eight as long as both partners are devoted to deeply caring, understanding and working toward shared goals together. Among all enneatypes, the correlation between the degree of interpersonal similarity and ratings of desirability was found to be .82, suggesting a very strong association. Although this trend is universal, the degree of compatibility does vary slightly. Twos should directly address problems with Eights; they should stand their ground and defend their perspective, while also considering Eights. 6. mirashp 22 hr. 5. Type 1s in Stress. The Five Love Languages is a registered trademark of The Moody Bible Institute of Chicago, which has no affiliation with this site. This Enneagram type is: Innovative and highly perceptive. Two highly unaware people may be able to continue in a relationship but it is . However, some may see the Eight as too intense and competitive. From this perspective, the Enneagram is a map for accessing who we really are, beyond personality. Twos should engage in occasional discussion or debate with Eights to help build a deeper understanding of their ideas and beliefs. When two Type Eights form a relationship and share a household, the result is usually noisy. Therein lies both a main source of the attraction as well as one of the main pitfalls. The enneagram 8 in love is a very reliable partner. After other Type Eights, Type Threes and Ones were also found to be highly compatible. They can also be indecisive and avoid conflict, however, making them prone to procrastination and burnout. Scrolling #Enneagram Isn't Going . Ones are rational, purposeful, and aim for perfection. You will surely feel like having a better understanding of who you are, your manners, your relationship with others and how you interpret the world around you. Twos and Eights should remain attentive and empathetic to one another when addressing personal issues. On the other hand, the ambitious three will be able to keep up with the eight's demands. The Personality Data Project is supported by universities and colleges worldwide. Twos can help Eights back down from unnecessary arguments, while Eights can help Twos express . Christa hosts the popular Enneagram & Marriage Podcast. They tend to express that hurt as rage, which pushes Fives further away. How do you know if you're a Sensor? When the excitement wears off, the dark and stormy atmosphere of a Type 4 and Type 8 relationship frequently proves to be dangerously toxic. This pair is genuinely concerned about their partner's . Twos love spending quality time together, and in their mutual giving, they find each can get replenished in the marriage, even if one or both, in all their caring, haven't learned to love themselves completely. Samantha is an ENTP and Enneagram 7, who is always surrounded by a pile of books, a steaming cup of tea and a block of her favourite chocolate. Type Eights admire this integrity. This may appear dishonest and manipulative to Eights, who are able to simply overpower anyone who stands in their way. Enneagram Type 2:8 The Downward Spiral. They may need guidance about how to slow down or not take action. With the loyal and safe love of the Six and the romantic and affectionate love of the Two, this pairing can be one of the strongest of all the types. How compatible are Type 8s in a relationship with Type 5s? They experience them as sensations or energy within the bodyenergy that drives them to take action. The Two can become an apologist for the Eight's bad behavior, enabling them and thus encouraging Eights to continue with anti-social or self-destructive habits. The pairings below, adapted from The Essential Enneagram book by David Daniels, MD and Virginia Price, MD, distinguish every Enneagram type from every other type, 36 comparisons in all. This is either because Type Eights and Type Sixes / Nines / Fours mutually find each other only moderately desirable, or there is a large difference between how desirable each Type perceives the other. Impatient with rules and regulations, they like to do things their way. What you want: The reassurance of stability paired with radical and in-your-face honesty. Type 6s and Type 8s are amongst the most emotionally expressive. Type Twos with Type Eights create a passionate and energetic couple, with a desire for creating fun and inserting their powerful compassion into the world. For more, follow her on Instagram @enneagramandmarriage or visit her site: www.EnneagramandMarriage.com. They also pass these sweet notes to the people and communities they are loyal to, helping everyone they care about. So i feel like I don't get taken advantage of when I'm being vulnerable. If this kind of balance and intention is not happening regularly, they need communication help. But when it comes, both partners feel the eternal newness and romance as well as the safety of deep committed love as they alternately lead and follow in the mesmerizing dance of a healthy and safe one-to-one bond. The EIGHT's primal knowing was that God/Reality was warmth, food, protection, empathy, relationship, and total understanding of how weak, needy, and hungry we all are. They love engaging in debates and are skilled at making difficult decisions. Click here to take your Enneagram Glow Up communication to the next level with the complete Type 8 & Type 1 Glow Pairing Guide! 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Reach for a Type two or visit her site: www.EnneagramandMarriage.com the and...